


My Language is Ineffable

by Cryptand_Bismol



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Enochian, Fluff, Garden of Eden, I change tones more than Crowley changes his hairstyle, Language, Love Through The Ages, Mesopotamia, Multi, Mutual Pining, Romance, Some Humor, Some angst, adventures in formatting, longing looks, which is a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21837349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryptand_Bismol/pseuds/Cryptand_Bismol
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley have spent the past millennia in England, where they speak English almost like native speakers, and other languages with varying levels of success.At least when they speak to Humans.When they speak to each other, they use a rather different language, one much, much older, and one that uses every Human sense and some non-Human senses to perceive.And yet, even without fully understanding the words, everyone can tell that these two Preternatural beings are mad about each other.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	My Language is Ineffable

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the Bastille scene again (of course), and it occurred to me that if Aziraphale was speaking French badly then he must not have a TARDIS like angelic translator like you might assume from an Angel, so he must have learned English at some point too. But what does he speak before that? What does he speak in the Garden?  
> And what language does he use to speak to Crowley?  
> And bing bang bong here comes an Enochian fic!
> 
> All of the text in the weird font is supposed to convey Enochian, and in this chapter is just the dialogue straight from the Mesopotamia scene - you can't put symbols in the CSS for hover over text, so that hover over translation is in an asterisk after (*)

When God spoke to Adam and Eve, as She often did in the early days before the whole trouble of omniscience gave Her a headache and led Her to delegate, She toned down the extra-sensory, ground-shaking, eye-bleeding voice of God into something that the humans could actually comprehended. It was difficult **1** , since usually a sound formed was only a small fraction of Her celestial meaning, and the rest was perceived in various other ways. She managed, though, letting Adam and Eve wrap their human tongues around Enochian words and shape them in their own way; they invented the word Adam, and Eve, and Human, and Earth, and words for all manner of other things. Not in any language we would recognise today, no, that is a long lost history, but in a way that didn’t shatter ear drums, or tear their vocal chords, or invoke visions of terrible, beautiful, _terrible_ Angelic forms.

**1.** Once She had to resurrect both of them and hope to G- hope nobody saw.

When She left, originally only for a few days to sort out the now-abandoned Mars project **2** and then for rather a lot longer, She sent down her friendliest principality, lovely and soft spoken and the only one who had already been trying to learn this new Human language. Sure, there was still a hint of something behind his words that made every hair stand on end, and occasionally caused a nosebleed when he got too passionate **3** , but the humans rather liked talking to him. Even if they had been temporarily blinded upon trying to pronounce his true name, and instead now call him the very simplified and endearing Aziraphale.

**2.** She would say it was On Hold, like anyone with a project they started with good intentions and now had a half finished scrap of something they don’t have the heart to just throw out already.

**3.** Especially when Eve had introduced him to honey. Adam had coined the term ‘feral’ that day.

When Crawley, the demon that sauntered vaguely downwards, first spoke to Eve, it was in his own demonic language. It was reminiscent of Enochian, most of the same words and structure although they had a few more synonyms for pain, and more visions of burning and smell of pungent sulphur pools. The words he spoke were recognisable to Eve, only like he was speaking them with a heavily lilting accent, which may have included a heavy side of hissing and skin prickling and, inexplicably, the taste of sweet fragrant fruit. And having no reason not to trust a being that spoke almost the same language as their dear friend Aziraphale, she listened to him. **4** He talked about the stars sometimes and looked at her fondly as she tried to emulate his old names for them; he much preferred the human names anyway, Heaven didn’t deserve to claim the stars as their own. It was Eve who had brought up the tree, asking him why she could not eat the fruit from this one in particular, and Crawley, truly not knowing this unassuming thing was That Tree **5** , told her to eat it anyway.

**4**. Not that trusting him was bad. Crawley only took the chance to ‘get up there and cause some trouble’ because it got him out of Hell for a while, and the Humans were much better company than Hastur or Satan.

**5**. Could you blame him? Why would She put it right there next to that other normal apple trees? This is precisely why he left Heaven.

Of course soon Adam, Eve, and the baby were banished from Eden, by a God who had been having a terrible day **6** and who was rather quite offended that very language she gifted them was used to tempt them. Even if it was all part of the Ineffable Plan, this was not the timescale she planned to work with. Crawley was much too persuasive for his own good, sometimes, it was supposed to take at least until after the child was born. But no matter, there was no going back now **7** , the Plan was in motion.

She was so busy tweaking the rest of Earth to be ready for the humans that She didn’t see **8** an Angel giving away his sword, a Demon meeting said Angel, and the pair of them accidentally developing their own dialect of Enochian. **9**

**6**. Or was it week? Month? Maybe She should tweak the concept of time again?

 **7**. She could, if she wanted to, but oh, it would be so much effort!

 **8.** Or at least She saw but didn’t bother to fully focus on it.

 **9.** Soon after She had calmed down and felt bad about Adam and Eve and wished to give them protection outside of Eden, She approached Aziraphale about his flaming sword and was both mildly annoyed and quietly pleased that he had enacted her plan without being asking to. Even if it was progressing Too Fast.

* * *

Everyone in Mesopotamia knew about Angels and Demons. Specifically The Angel and The Demon, who tried to discreetly eat lunch together, and subtly make conversation while looking at the other more fondly than most did with their wives. They might have blended in, even with their unusual hair, and unusual skin, and unusual clothes, if not for the way they spoke to each other. Language now was still similar to the one fathered in Eden, but it had evolved over time as new words were invented, and now compared to Enochian is was like a cat trying to speak to a lion. And while the humans could recognised some of the words the Angel and Demon spoke of, the rest was incomprehensible. And, of course, when they spoke it they levitated sand, bloomed flowers, tasted of burnt honey, and flashed images of golden halos orbiting each other with a hundred unknown colours and of thick black acrid smoke with eyes of every horrible shade peering out of the darkness.

Still, even the presence of an Angel and a Demon in their midst didn’t stop the place from going to the dogs, as it were. They weren’t there all of the time, of course, only once every fifty years or so. And it didn’t help that no-one had exactly told them the consequences of right and wrong. How were they to know Heaven existed or Hell existed? How where they to know of eternal damnation when the only Demon they knew was actually rather nice and was wonderful with children? 

When Noah started building his Ark, talking about the retribution of God and the evils within the city, most of the locals thought he was just a little eccentric. That was until the Angel and the Demon started to watch the proceedings **1**.

**1.** And the words being said are well documented in a rather excellent miniseries called Good Omens. **2 **

**2.** Episode 3; Mesopotamia, 3004 BC.

“ **ỻ⸗⌠⌠Ꚛ, ₳ζꜟⱹ₳Þỻ₳⌠⸗!** " said the Demon, coming to stand beside the Angel who was wringing his hands together.

No-one knew what the last word meant, exactly, only that the Demon said it often, and that it was warm, rather than burning, and earthy, rather than sulphuric, and the smoke was white and more like clouds, a thousand familiar blue eyes within.

“ **ᴗⱹ₳‡⌠⸗ʮ,** ”the Angel replied, doing his best not to appear as excited to see the Demon as he actually was.

Again, the meaning was unknown, but it was spicy, and slithery, and was like a heavy comforting weight upon the shoulders, rings of scales bound together with hissing.

“ **ᴤꚚ, ჵꜟѧꜟᴖჵ †ỻ⸗ ʭꚚⱹ†₳⌠ᴤ ₳ Ɉ⌠₳ʭꜟᴖჵ ᴤ‡Ꚛⱹᴕ. ỻꚚ‡ ᴕꜟᴕ †ỻ₳† ‡Ꚛⱹɮ Ꚛ꜡† ɈꚚⱹ ʮꚚ꜡?** ” the Demon was staring at him very intently, and it was a wonder that the Angel did not combust under the weight of it.

“ **†ỻ⸗ ₳⌠ʭꜟჵỻ†ʮ ỻ₳s ᴖ⸗ѧ⸗ⱹ ₳ᴗ†꜡₳⌠⌠ʮʭ⸗ᴖ†ꜟꚚᴖ⸗ᴕ ꜟ† ₳ჵ₳ꜟᴖ**.”

“ **ÞⱹꚚՑ₳Ց⌠ʮ ₳ ჵꚚꚚᴕ †ỻꜟᴖჵ,** ” The Demon said, then looked around, as if only just noticing the large crowd3, “ **‡ỻ₳†’ᴤ ₳⌠⌠ †ỻꜟᴤ ₳ՑꚚ꜡†? Ց꜡ꜟ⌠ᴕ ₳ Ցꜟჵ boat ₳ᴖᴕ Ɉꜟ⌠⌠ ꜟ† ‡ꜟ†ỻ ₳ †ⱹ₳ѧ⸗⌠⌠ꜟᴖჵ zoo?** ” **4**

**3.** From the way he had single-mindedly sauntered towards the Angel, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he really hadn’t noticed.

**4.** There was no heavenly or hellish word for boat or zoo, both being very human things that neither side had time for, but when Aziraphale and Crawley spoke them to each other they did have a dash of tremor behind them.

“ **ɈⱹꚚʭ ‡ỻ₳† ꜟ ỻ⸗₳ⱹ, ჵꚚᴕ’ᴤ ₳ Ցꜟ† tetchy. 5 ‡ꜟÞꜟᴖჵ Ꚛ꜡† †ỻ⸗ human race.6  Ցꜟჵ ᴤ†Ꚛⱹʭ.**” The Angel said with a very different sort of tremor in his voice.

Even without the meaning behind the words, flashes of despair washed over the crowd, images of water, everywhere, the rivers bursting their banks, the sea rising, the smell of something horrid, rancid, the taste of salt water on their tongues.

**5.** Tetchy was a very human word. In Heaven it was a little too mean, Angels preferring instead to say someone was having a bad day. In Hell it was far too nice, preferring instead to say someone was a whole manner of words that cannot be repeated here.

**6.** Again, Adam and Eve had both come up with the word Human together. Both sides did have their own term for Humans, but in Angelic or Demonic Enochian it never sounded quite right. Aziraphale and Crawley preferred to pronounce it the human way.

The Demon looked as shocked as the crowd felt, only confirming people’s fears, “ **₳⌠⌠ ꚚɈ †ỻ⸗ʭ?** ”

“ **ᶘ꜡ᴤ† †ỻ⸗ locals 7. ꜟ ᴕꚚᴖ’† Ց⸗⌠ꜟ⸗ѧ⸗ †ỻ⸗ ₳⌠ʭꜟჵỻ†ʮ ꜟᴤ ꜡Þᴤ⸗† ‡ꜟ†ỻ †ỻ⸗ Chinese, Ꚛⱹ †ỻ⸗ Native Americans, Ꚛⱹ †ỻ⸗ Australians.**" **8**

Whatever the Angel had been trying to convey about the locals didn’t seem to convince the Demon, who half rolled his eyes and said, “ **ʮ⸗†**.”

**7.** Local wasn’t a necessary term when there was only Heaven, Hell, and Eden. There were other ways to differentiate between choirs of Angels, or battalions of Hell. When it came to Earth outside of Eden, it was much easier just to call them locals, especially when they were constantly founding new villages and tribes.

**8.** The three words had the same celestial aura about them, but nothing as strong as the other Enochian words. None of the crowd knew what they meant, only that they must be human words somewhere.

“ **₳ᴖᴕ ჵꚚᴕ’ᴤ ᴖꚚ† ₳ᴗ†꜡₳⌠⌠ʮ ჵꚚꜟᴖჵ †Ꚛ ‡ꜟÞ⸗ Ꚛ꜡† ₳⌠⌠ †ỻ⸗ locals. ꜟ ʭ⸗₳ᴖ, Noah** ” the Angel said with clearly feigned confidence, gesturing to the Ark on the hill, “ **꜡Þ †ỻ⸗ⱹ⸗, ỻꜟᴤ family, ỻꜟᴤ sons, †ỻ⸗ꜟⱹ wives 9, †ỻ⸗ʮ’ⱹ⸗ ₳⌠⌠ ჵꚚꜟᴖჵ †Ꚛ Ց⸗ Ɉꜟᴖ⸗**.”

“ **Ց꜡† †ỻ⸗ʮ’ⱹ⸗ drowning 12 ⸗ѧ⸗ⱹʮՑꚚᴕʮ ⸗⌠ᴤ⸗? ᴖꚚ† †ỻ⸗ kids? ʮꚚ꜡ ᴗ₳ᴖ’† ɮꜟ⌠⌠ kids**.”

The humans did not miss the way the Demon looked at the children running by, the disbelief on his face. Pain in their hearts, a deep loss, ricocheted through their chests, and ashes coated their tongues, as their hands wrinkled and grew clammy. They knew, then, that he was their only hope, for whatever this was that was coming, he would at least save the children.

The Angel hummed a confirmation in a tone that truly showed what he thought of the concept.

**9.** Family wasn’t a concept known to Heaven and Hell. Abstractly, they were all family, abstractly they were all children of God. But the family the humans meant, based on blood and ancestry, wasn’t something they really understood or defined in the same way. Wives too, the concept of marriage was lost on them. Everyone loved in Heaven, but it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t a binding of two lives together **10** , it was an all encompassing love of God’s creation. And Hell, well, love abandoned them when they fell. **11**

**10.** Except for one Angel, perhaps.

**11.** Except for one Demon, perhaps.

**12.** Death was certainly something known to both sides. Many Angels (for they were all Angels at that point) had been killed or, more accurately, destroyed in The War. But those deaths were from celestial weapons. Even for the few Demons who had later been captured and killed with Holy Water, they didn’t drown, didn’t need to breathe at all. No. Drowning was a very Earthly death, and a very Earthly word.

The Demon grimaced, “ **‡⸗⌠⌠, †ỻ₳†’ᴤ ʭꚚⱹ⸗ †ỻ⸗ ɮꜟᴖᴕ ꚚɈ †ỻꜟᴖჵʮꚚ꜡’ᴕ ⸗ꞈÞ⸗ᴗt ʭʮ ⌠Ꚛ† †Ꚛ ᴕꚚ**.”

“ **ʮ⸗ᴤ, Ց꜡† ‡ỻ⸗ᴖ ꜟ†’ᴤ ᴕꚚᴖ⸗ †ỻ⸗ ₳⌠ʭꜟჵỻ†ʮ’ᴤ ჵꚚꜟᴖჵ †Ꚛ Þ꜡† ꜡Þ ₳ ᴖ⸗‡ †ỻꜟᴖჵ, ᴗ₳⌠⌠⸗ᴕ ₳ ‘rainbow’ 13, ₳ᴤ ₳ ÞⱹꚚʭꜟᴤ⸗ ᴖꚚ† †Ꚛ drown ⸗ѧ⸗ⱹʮꚚᴖ⸗ ₳ჵ₳ꜟᴖ**.” And there was that hope again, as if he were trying to not only convince the Demon, but also himself.

No-one quite knew what this ‘rainbow’ was either, but the undercurrent of colour and joy sounded a little more promising than the visions of a great flood.

“ **ỻꚚ‡ ɮꜟᴖᴕ** ,” the Demon said, once again seemingly unconvinced by the Angel’s optimism.

“ **ʮꚚ꜡ ᴗ₳ᴖ’† ᶘ꜡ᴕჵ⸗ †ỻ⸗ ₳⌠ʭꜟჵỻ†ʮ, ᴗⱹ₳‡⌠⸗ʮ. ჵꚚᴕ’ᴤ Þ⌠₳ᴖᴤ₳ⱹ⸗-** ”

That word again, in the middle, the feeling of being circled, watched, an aura of yellow, almost gold, the beat of powerful wings, and were those scales or feathers? Or both?

“ **₳ⱹ⸗ ʮꚚ꜡ ჵꚚꜟᴖჵ †Ꚛ ᴤ₳ʮ** **‘ineffable 15**’?” the Demon interrupted, unamused.

“ **...ÞꚚᴤᴤꜟՑ⌠ʮ**.”

Ineffable, someone in the crowd thought as one of the Unicorns began to break loose of its bonds, that seemed to sum up these two beings rather well.

“Oi, Shem!” the Demon yelled, but in the common tongue now, the Angel watching him quietly but fondly, “That unicorn’s going to make a run for it!” But the animal had already gone, and the sky began to darken ominously, “Oh, it’s too late. It’s too late!”

The rain really began to fall now. Too late indeed.

“Well, you’ve still got one of them **16** ,” the Demon said, thunder cracking but not from his voice this time.

**13.** God had debated whether She should name it something more celestial, but seeing as She was, well, drowning a lot of people, She thought the reward of a rainbow would be best with a Human name for the children to pronounce. **14**

**14.** Of course She knew Crawley, the kind-hearted dastardly demon, would defy her will by saving the children. Or believe he was defying it anyway. She _was_ omniscient, after all.

**15.** Ineffable was a word that Aziraphale had once heard Adam and Eve talk about, apparently it was the answer God gave them when they asked a question She would not or could not answer, or at least it was their pronunciation of it. Aziraphale found it suited his own needs in rather a similar way.

**16.** Everyone was rather too busy getting out of the rain to unpack this statement.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> Formatting on this site took me longer than writing it ahaha


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